A work in progress

I have come to realize that I have 2 states of I am’s that I wasn’t particularly happy with. I’ll talk about the other at a later post and concentrate on one now. According to Kate, I have to look at things at a non-judgmental, it’s all good attitude. And that became particularly difficult when I think about these 2 states of I ams.

Here’s my first state that I’m not particularly happy with. It’s the knowing that I am unsure and unclear of what I want particularly in my professional life. The hardest question for me to answer seems to be “What do you want?”. I don’t know. “What if you knew?”. **Blank**. So much for growth seminars. They would probably disown me as a graduate. πŸ’‘

I had this notion before that once you “grow up”, you’re set. The future is happening. And that you’re merely living it out. I was thinking that being unclear happens to teeners and fresh grads, not to those near 30s, and there must be something wrong with you if you feel this way, in a big-Loser kinda way.

Kate says label all things “good“. In my case I labeled it differently for me to see the good and to change this Loser notion. My new affirmation is “I am a work in progress” and in fairness, it worked. The term tickled me. I loved it. It made me feel that I was forward moving, rather than stuck-I-don’t-know-what-I-want rut. The doing portion and the journey will most probably be the same. But how I choose to be and how I choose to feel seems to be different.

By saying I’m a work in progress I’m also saying that:

  • I’m looking for ways to improve myself constantly;
  • I haven’t arrived at my journey yet, which is also good, because I know I’m growing;
  • Even if I don’t know what I want, it’s still good, because I have the opportunity to discover other talents, other passions unlike if I knew what I should be;
  • I’m excited to discover;
  • Even if I don’t know yet where this decision would lead me, I know that wherever it does, is okay;
  • I am not a loser for not knowing what I want, but it is important that it is a day by day, moment by moment choice to be happy;
  • I’m happily focusing on the what I am and what I can be, rather than what I am not yet.

At the end of the day, I honestly believe that by saying I’m a work in progress, it puts me in the same level playing field as everybody else (not more, not less). Even those who know their life goals are (and are currently achieving it) should still be works in progress in terms of change and growth.

So there. I hope I made a little bit of sense.

***** Thank you for dropping by. I’d love to hear your thoughts too. πŸ™‚

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2 thoughts on “A work in progress

  1. “where is this coming from?” πŸ˜•

    you probably just miss our laguna overnights!

    yevka dear, i don’t think growth is an ever fixed point really. i see it more as roadmaps. one goal is just one of the many destinations you can visit. one can stay for as long or as short as they want. your place of seeming “confusion” is just a rest stop (or maybe already a destination to itself!) to a wonderful destination. whats great is you own your time and you can choose how and when to get to the next big thing.

    *back to planning for my next happy place!*

  2. There you go. :thumbsup:

    One thing unpredictable about life is change. I was focused on a goal years ago and this change thingie shattered it to pieces, which resulted in me not knowing what I can do next or not knowing what I wanted back then. Let me know if you want me to share some details about it (perhaps over coffee and cheesecakes?). Anyways, my advice is to always open yourself to new opportunities/possibilities. One may never know….

    “I am” shouldn’t be a static thingie.

    No matter how young or uhmmm…matured we are, as long as we live, we are all “works in progress”. Very true.

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